Mr. Finnell

Mr. Finnell
Mathmatics Teacher at Fenwick High School

I can't remember which came first, "Sprockets" or the 1990 Chicagoland emergence of the 17 year periodical cicada brood but something tells me the cicadas came first.

The bases of all the trees in front of our Elmhurst home and all those along the sidewalks leading to school were buried in cicada shells. Open classroom windows let in fresh air and the afternoon distraction of droning cicada song. Spring fever led a few of us to the obvious conclusion that we should investigate recipes for cooking cicadas and dare one another to eat them. At home I gathered a few choice specimens in an empty spaghetti jar and carried them to school in my bag. I didn't bother to leave them in my locker because they were a good distraction between classes.

After lunch in Algebra class the outdoor buzzing of cicadas led my jarred specimens to join together in the song. Although the jar muffled their sound as they blended in with the others Finnell must still have sensed something because he scanned us in silence and probed at us to see what was going on. My friend Ilic sat in front of me so at some point it seemed harmless to open the jar and place a cicada on his back. Ilic had agreed to eat a live cicada after school if we gave him $20. He noticed the bug in no time and in turn put it on Netterville's back. Netterville however was not aware of the cicada and when it reached his collar and buzzed he stood up spinning and still attached to his desk, crashed into other desks and rolled around until someone took it off. Mr. Finnell correctly determined that I had something to do with this and asked me to leave the classroom even though I sat two seats behind Netterville. No one else got into trouble. On a formality he did not send me to jug or to the principles office so I recall that I hid in the restroom until the period was over and never got into trouble.

Fenwick's general dress code was dress pants, shirts and ties but there was a sweater loophole that took away the need for a tie and dress shirt if you were careful. One of my favorite outfits at this time was a charcoal sweater with a zipper on the neck. I was able to get away with no shirt and tie as long as I zipped up the sweater.

Finnell was probably the first person I knew to have mastered the comic pause when making a joke. Whether he was picking on students that were not paying attention or asking questions of students that were likely to know the answer his questions were always formatted as follows.

Question + long pause + student's last name.

example 1: "Who knows the answer?. . . . . . . . Simcoe?"
example 2: "Where is your homework?. . . . . . . . Ilic?"

This generally raised spirits and led to laughter from the rest of the class.

I can't remember the question Finnell asked me that spring but I do remember that I was wearing my charcoal sweater when he changed my last name to "Sprockets" much to the approval of the rest of the class. "Sprockets" stuck for the rest of the semester and a few classmates also adopted it for a time. He was making reference to the Mike Meyers character on Saturday Night Live.

All tomfoolery aside, I learned more about math in Finnell's classes than I ever have before or since.